Following on from Attachment Parenting update part 1…
5. Bedding close to baby.
I have always been pro co-sleeping. I really don’t get how people think that making your baby feel safe and secure is ‘making a rod for your own back’. I co-slept with Ollie for the first few months and on the whole he has been a really good sleeper and not caused us endless sleepless nights. We’ve had stages where sleep hasn’t gone well but for reasons that I’ll go into another time otherwise this will get really long!
When Ted was newborn he had a little Mosby basket in our room where he would sleep but if he was unsettled I never hesitated to put him in bed with me. Now his routine is he generally goes to bed between 7-8pm, sleeps in his own bed and if he wakes up before 1am I normally feed him and put him back in bed but if its stupid hours like 3-4am then I bring him in with me and ‘breast sleep’ with him. I call this the all you can eat buffet. Just help yourself kid, I’m going back to sleep!
When he is in his own bed, he’s really settled and peaceful, he always looks really cosy.
6. Balance and Boundaries.
This one is really important to forming secure attachments and respectable, happy children. As I’ve written in my other posts, it basically means responding appropriately. So learn their cries and react accordingly. So when Ted does his cheeky cry because he’s not allow to chew wires I’m not going to be all soppy and aww Ted it’s ok. I just say no Ted! And it doesn’t take long before he stops and kind of goes, “Ah well it was worth a try, I wanted that wire.” You can see his little expressions go from arrrgghh I hate my mom to hhhmmm never mind eh.
I would never ignore a hungry cry because this basically says I don’t care that you need me and I never ignore the middle of the night cries because this is a ‘where are ya’ cry and I want him to know that I haven’t left him and as soon as he’s awake I’m in! I’ve found that a simple rule to parenting is: make them feel safe!
I think it’s important to not be scared of upsetting kids and giving into them because they just won’t grow up understanding the world and there will be a nation of adult brats crying because they don’t get their own way. With Ollie now aged 3, he does try and push the boundaries and a lot of the time I have to let him have the strop because I said no to more cake otherwise what am I here for if he’s just going to do that he wants?
7. Beware of baby trainers.
Yep! I stand by this too. Don’t take any advice other than – don’t take any advice! (And that thing I said earlier about learning baby cries.) Your motherly instinct is stronger than anything you’ll ever feel. Trust it and go with it. I’ve been to A&E several times with Ollie because I knew he wasn’t right, turned out I knew best and he had a broken collar bone! I went psycho on the doctor a few months back because I knew Ollie needed help with his hearing. Ended up getting a referral from a different doctor and Ollie ending up having grommets.
Nobody knows a child better than it’s mother. That’s not an insult to dads, step/ foster parents, adopted kids or any other family types but I stand by nature and the strongest bond on earth is between mother and baby. Trust it and ignore everyone else.
Happy mom = happy baby… Happy baby = happy mom!