Wow, just logged into MommaBoss and I haven’t written anything since November!
I have a lot to say but I’ve chilled out in my old age and can’t be bothered with offending people! I’ve come to realise that I don’t fit in with other Moms so I tend to not bother trying.
However, this is a topic that I’ve shied away from writing about due to people constantly being offended but I’ve found that the more I speak about this, the more people agree with me so here it is…
I don’t get ‘me time’.
Not – I don’t receive ‘me time’.
I mean – I don’t flipping understand this ridiculous phrase that parents splash across the internet.
What is it?
Judging from the hashtags this isn’t #MeTime this is #AloneTime #EscapeTime #PissOffTime #StalkanExTime
And I don’t understand the desire for this time in one’s life.
I enjoy me time, me time is all I have – I am always with me there is no escaping me, every time I look in the mirror there I am.
Most of the time I enjoy me time. I’m not disputing that a day at a spa isn’t enjoyable because it is. A day shopping, love it. Two hours at ballet, yes please. Give me the me time.
There are things that I do with me that I do not enjoy, such as sitting in traffic, being too tired regardless of the location, anything involving too many people in my space, yummy mummy groups. This is NOT me time.
Other things that are me time, swimming with Ted, babyBallet with Ollie, hanging out at my moms, date night with hubby, sitting around on my own binge watching 80s Neighbours, sitting around with the boys in our pyjamas watching CBeebies… the list goes on.
The point is – in my life, ‘me time’ is anything that I’m doing that attributes to who I am. So dance, bars, writing, friends and family, Momma – these are my main headings in life. I enjoy all of these things because they all encompass me and who I am.
I do not crave ballet if I’m with my boys, I don’t long to shoe shop on my own if I’m at at bar with my friends.
So basically when some (don’t get offended) parents say they need ‘me time’ It’s basically saying ok you can all piss off now and I don’t like that. If I could take the boys to ballet I would, it’s not that I need my 2 hours of piss off time, it just so happens that something that is a part of me isn’t (yet) a part of the boys so I must do it alone or not do it at all and so I choose the ‘me time’.
I don’t need a break from my boys or my family I just need to keep being me and sometimes they’re not there but it’s not because I crave the quiet time. In fact I miss them! I went to London for a dance workshop yesterday and yes I had a nice day but I was so happy to see Ollie’s little face at the door when I got back! That’s me time! That little cuddle – how is that not encompassing everything that you are‽
And so I come back to – I don’t get me time.
If you find yourself regularly craving being alone… I think there is a bigger picture and you need to ask yourself what you’re actually craving and missing in your life.
After years of running pubs I often found for men ‘me time’ = ‘pub time’ and as lovely as some of my regulars were I’d always wonder ‘why don’t you want to go home?’ not ‘why are you here?’ because that’s an easy answer, bars are fun, sociable places to be but I’d always think what is the missing piece.
Especially if your ‘me time’ involves hanging out with other people or ‘just chatting’ online to someone else.
If me time is becoming a large chunk of yours or your partners time… Why?