I read a lot of blogs, forums and articles where moms are basically saying they’re not perfect. They worry that they’re not enough for their kids or that they owe them more. The general tone is I’m not good enough.
So I’m writing this to all moms to say: Give yourself a break!
Some people might find this arrogant but if that’s how you take this post you either don’t know me or you have just completely missed my point!
I am without a doubt the single most perfect person to take on the role of Ollie’s mom. I can say that with 100% certainty. Nobody will ever love him more than I do, nobody wanted him as much as I did and nobody knows him like I do. Think of all the unloved, unwanted, misunderstood kids in the world. Ollie isn’t one of them. That makes me perfect. I want the best for him and I will give him the best because I love him more than anything!
I am doing a good job. I often wonder if I’m the only mother in the world that thinks they’re doing a good job. I’ll tell you why I think I’m doing a good job, if I thought I were doing a crap job… I’d change the way I’m doing it. Not being willing to change, or blaming external factors for choosing not to change… That would make me feel like a bad mother. I don’t blame anyone for my mothering skills. (Maybe my own mom, keep reading…)
The government aren’t to blame. The benefit system is questionable and maternity pay is quite frankly, a load of bollocks. (I don’t really like swearing but it’s a joke.) In saying that, it isn’t anyone else’s fault if I can’t afford to take a year of work and it certainly doesn’t make a difference to my mothering skills and definitely doesn’t impact on how I feel about Ollie. If I choose to take a stressful day out on Ollie, that’s not anyone else’s fault but for the record, I don’t! He makes everyday better! He makes the countdown to my days off worth going to work.
I am good. Ollie is good. I’m not going to question myself just because everyone else does.
I’ve talked about a similar thing before in I think therefore I am and the thing that all these doubting mothers can’t see is, if you worry about being good don’t you see that you’re already good? It’s the parents that don’t think about being the best that should be doubting their skills. They don’t care! Caring = good. Thinking = good.
If you are consumed with wanting the best for your kids, that makes you good. But it doesn’t mean you have to be consumed with questioning if you’re giving the best!
Maybe this is easy for me to say because I have a perfect mom so I’ve spent my whole life watching how to be a good mom. I’d be interested to find out if there’s a correlation between having a good mom and feeling like a good mom. I hope my mom thinks she’s a good mom. Feel free to open up and share your thoughts and childhood memories.
In my younger years, it didn’t take me long to discover there’s no such thing as the perfect man, in fact my catchphrase is, “All men are twats, you just need to find the twat for you!” When I was a bit more romanticised I used to say, “No man is perfect but one is perfect for you!” I prefer my older and wiser, Queen catchphrase but for the purpose of comparing this to motherhood I’ll use the Princess version. (Women are easily divided into Queens and Princesses, whichever catchphrase you prefer will tell you which one you are!)
If you still don’t think you’re perfect after reading why I’m perfect, think of this, “No mother is perfect but one is perfect for your baby.” That’s where you come in…