Ollie is nearly ten months now so I think I’m experienced enough at this Mom thing to start spouting advice all over the internet. Hi Google… I’m over here, show people my advice.
The Best Parenting Advice.
New baby advice.
How To Be A Good Mum.
So here it goes, my advice.
- Do not put a nappy in the washing machine. I don’t mean cloth nappies… Pampers. Accidentally shoving one in the load results in what can only be described as deformed snow that refuses to melt. It took a while for me to figure out what happened.
- Don’t bother wiping porridge off your babies face. It somehow reappears later on in the day. What the hell is that about? Invisible until dry and crusted over? And it’s like it waits for snot to join in before surfacing.
- Play this game, babies love it…They poo, you take the nappy off, as you get a wipe they quickly roll and crawl and you have to wipe all the poo particles and attach a clean nappy without getting poo on clothes, matts, carpet etc. No poo – you win! Wash everything – they win.
- Don’t bother buying toys. If you have a phone, remote control and wires you’re sorted. Oh and brochures or napkins… Anything they can rip to shreds gives them hours of fun.
- You are the worst Mom in the world if you prevent danger. Stopping them from climbing up things or putting things in their mouth… You’re a cow. Ollie hated me for not letting him eat a hair bobble.
Most importantly… Don’t listen to Backseat Parents or let people bore you with crap advice. If you care enough to Google parenting advice… You don’t need the advice. You’re already good.