wave of light

#WaveOfLight – Baby Loss Awareness

The 9th – 15th October is Baby Loss Awareness Week and at the end of the week there is a social media event called Wave Of Light and it is for everyone that has lost a baby to light a candle for them and share a picture on social media in memory of all the angel babies.

I took part in it last year and it is so sad how many likes I got and how many I liked after searching the hashtag.  The official Wave of Light time is 7pm.  

Join in.

If you have lost a baby or know somebody that has lost a baby please join in because as I wrote the other day, I don’t think ‘raising awareness’ really does a lot in many cases but what this does is highlight that we are not alone and that the 1 in 4 statistic means that we all know somebody who has lost a baby.

Losing a baby is not taboo and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

I believe in not so much raising awareness but supporting awareness and removing taboos and myths about baby loss.  So if you’re reading this, don’t just click away! Share or comment with the name of the baby lost so that we can keep supporting misCOURAGE mommas by showing them that they are not alone.

My Attitude.

When I tell my stories of baby loss to people – which I often talk about, one thing people always tell me is that I have a really good attitude.

I think they say this because I don’t resent anybody that is pregnant, I encourage them to be proud of their pregnancy and share as many photos as they want and not be concerned about upsetting people.

Real friends, or in fact just decent people will be happy for happy people.  If somebody is sailing through a pregnancy with no issues I’m pleased for them that they never have to experience anxiety and nightmares about pregnancy.  I don’t hold a grudge because life wasn’t kind to me.  It’s not their fault.

Yes I get annoyed at naivety during pregnancy or when people complain about stupid things. In a way it is something to be envious of because to have that ignorance and naivety means you’ve never had the physical and psychological pain.

Also, for all I know this could be their first successful pregnancy after multiple miscarriages. So how selfish do you need to be to be pissed off with your so called friends for being happy!?

Concentrate on your own life…

I generally find that happy people don’t compare themselves to others.  This is something I learnt in my early 20’s thanks to my original boss and it is something I’ve carried with me for years.  This mentality has contributed to my successes in life and helped me deal with sad times.

So as baby loss awareness week comes to an end please do these two things:

  1. Light a candle at 7pm and make people aware that you’ve lost a baby.  So what if they feel awkward. Why should we be the ones feeling awkward when they say things like, “Are you gonna try for a girl?” or “Is this your first?”
  2. Be proud of your babies! Post, post and post some more pictures of them.  If your friends are annoyed by baby spam then they’re not your friends.  If you’re happy and proud they will be happy for you.
wave of light
Wave of Light for Stevie