Are you ready for this?

imageThroughout my pregnancy one thing that I kept repeating was, I hate pregnant women! They are so annoying. I have found pregnant women annoying for a long time actually but i never really had the right to say, until I went through pregnancy myself and realised what a bunch of exaggerating, whinging bastards they are. This is why I find them annoying, (apologies to the women that are more like me, you’ll know if you’re annoying when you’ve read this…) a natural mother will do ANYTHING for their child that includes their unborn child. When people say cliches like you’d take a bullet for them, you literally would. You would do ANYTHING to keep your child happy and healthy. So when I hear moms to be whinging about feeling sick or being tired I instantly put them into one of two categories. Either you’re attention seeking and your backache really isn’t that bad and your indigestion will disappear if you shut up and drink gaviscon. Or you’re just not ready for motherhood. Pregnancy is preparing you to sacrifice everything for your baby. If you are not happy about feeling sick so that your body can produce the right hormones to help your baby grow then I really worry how these people will cope when they have to sacrifice their social life or their physical appearance. Every change your body goes through is purely to help your baby grow and be as healthy as it can be. Obviously some women have it rough during pregnancy, I’m not implying they shouldn’t be mothers but I think how you deal with it demonstrates how ready you are to be a mom. If you’re sick everyday but embrace the change and just count down the sick days until you get to meet your baby, that is a completely different attitude to somebody that moans 24/7, updates Facebook telling the world how vile being pregnant is and sits on the couch all day feeling sorry for themselves. You’re lucky! No sympathy required.

There is a sub-category of people with pre existing illnesses and it is understandable that pregnancy will be completely different for these people. I have a friend with lupus and I would not consider her a lazy whinge bag if she had to have extra time off or needed extra care, the point is she needs regular care anyway pregnant or not! But if you’re having a normal pregnancy and you’re in good health, I challenge anybody to find me something to moan about.

I just find it ungrateful to moan about having a little gift growing inside of you. You are lucky. Never forget you are lucky. Not only are you healthy enough to conceive and carry a child but you are or have been in a loving relationship and so many people are searching for that. I just can’t find anything bad about being pregnant.

I feel like it’s even more acceptable for me to speak my mind this week because I’ve been made to feel like Mrs Jumbo. I have been separated from my one week old newborn son. It is the worst most unnatural thing in the world. So if you’re lucky enough to have a healthy pregnancy and birth and able to take your baby home, no matter how many late nights you have, no matter how little sleep you have… You are lucky!

I had my baby delivered by emergency c section after a very long labour. (See previous blog.). I stayed in hospital for the standard 2 days and when it came to discharge day the midwife said my stomach was looking a little red and swollen but the wound was healing well so I should be fine to leave but she’d get the doctor to check. The doctor said it should go down and I was ok to leave. When I left the hospital it was SO painful to walk, I was hobbling like an old lady. It was really difficult for me to get in the car too. I knew it was no holiday having a c section but from what my mom and sister had told me about theirs, I thought I’d be able to walk fairly normally. When I got home I asked my mom to come round to watch Ollie so that Dave could help me get in the shower because I couldn’t do it on my own. My sister found that a bit weird but didn’t want to worry me as it was still early days. I went to bed in a lot of pain and little Ollie slept in the bed with me so I didn’t have to get up to feed him, I couldn’t get up on my own. Sunday morning it was painful to get up but I managed to hobble around and dress and change Ollie and walk around the house a bit. As soon as I sat down I’d get stuck and the pain was awful to get up. The pain seemed to be getting worse. The advice is to stay mildly active, little walks, a bit of housework, no lifting but don’t just slob out too much. So I decided to go for a little walk to the shop at the bottom of my road, I thought if I take the pram I can lean on it and I’ll feel ok. It was painful but I did it. As the night went on the pain seemed to be getting worse to the point I was crying from physical pain. My wound was leaking too. I decided to ring Triage for advice and they basically said I overdid it by walking, I should chill out and recover. Dave slept downstairs that night so that I could use all the bed for Ollie, I had his changing stuff in one corner, a sleep area and then I was feeding zone. The pain was getting worse. By Monday I felt much worse, I didn’t feel like I could breast feed anymore because I couldn’t get up quick enough to get to him. So I asked Dave to get some formula so he could help with the feeds I also tried expressing some so he at least had some good milk. I felt like a failure and like I’d let Ollie down but I honestly felt like he would’ve starved otherwise. Monday I was pretty useless, I could hardly move. Dave was meant to be going back to work on Tuesday I was crying making a bottle trying to go from one side of the kitchen to the other. I was saying I have to be able to do it when I’m on my own tomorrow. After crying from the pain through the night and having to wake Dave up to take me to the toilet, he took another day of work, I was in no state to be left alone. Dave’s mom came up to stay with us to help me out so Dave could go back to work on Wednesday. Now I was expecting, help me with the washing and lifting jobs, make the dinner, watch Ollie so I can have a rest sort of thing. How wrong was I!

By Tuesday night I was in serious pain. My midwife had been to see me that afternoon and said Ollie is perfect but she was worried about me and the amount of pain I was in. Then about 9pm I went really cold, I was shivering like mad and the pain was ridiculous. Dave wrapped me up but I wasn’t getting any better. By about 10pm he’d rang Triage and they said come in to be checked. I was freezing, I went out with a dressing gown and blanket on. On a hot summers night! When they looked at me they said you’re not going home tonight. I had a nasty infection in my wound that was just making me really poorly. A doctor came to see me and lifted up the blanket and said, Oh my god! At how red and swollen my stomach was. I was taken to the HDU ward and then moved up to normal ward. Then next morning some top professor came to see me and said, why is she up here? She needs one to one care! He seemed quite mad about it. Oh yeh, through the night on the ward my temperature was really concerning it was all over the place, I was shivering one minute and lying in a bed a sweat the next.
I was sent for a scan to check there was no fluid build up and then sent back to HDU for one to one care. I was seriously ill! I couldn’t get up to the toilet, i had a catheter in to measure my fluid output and it meant I could stay in bed. I stayed on HDU for 3 days and then I was moved up to the ward Friday night. I have been on IV antibiotics from Weds – today (Sunday) now I’ve been moved to oral so if my wound is looking ok I should go home soon. If the infection would have got in my blood, I literally could have died. No exaggeration. The doctors knew that! My blood was being tested twice a day. I’ve always been easy to get blood out of but it started to get difficult towards the end. I was joking telling them they’ve taken it all!

I didn’t see my little boy for 2 days. It was horrible. When he finally came to see me I felt like Mrs Jumbo holding Dumbo in her trunk through the bars. I cried when he had to leave. Being pregnant was so nice knowing that my baby was with me all the time. I’ve known him the longest and I was taken away. I know practical people will say, yeh you had to get better to be with him long term. I get that. But the point is, cherish your pregnancy and cherish your baby. Every moment is precious with them and you are lucky to have them. Don’t be ungrateful.

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  • Jo to see you so poorly has been heartbreaking. I have been so worried. I knew Ollie was in safe hands but I wasn’t sure you was. I feel the hospital let you down on many occasions. The main thing is your on the mend now. A mothers love is very strong , every time you were in pain I was hurting too. I want you home where you belong. Love you so much Jo xxxxxx

  • I’ve reffered to you as “wonder woman” all through pregnancy and you really are! Your physical aand emotional strength throughout your ordeal has been incredible. Ollie is the luckiest little boy in the world , I can’t imagine your pain at being separated from him! Really hope you’re reunited soon xxxxx