Baby Connor – Part Two!

Read Baby Connor – Part 1 before this!

I was so tired at this point I needed something to take the pain away and allow me to sleep, so they advised an epidural. I was against having this prior to labour as I was worried about the side effects but at this stage I just wanted it to stop. I had to wait 20 minutes for an anaesthetist then when they finally came it took 3 attempts to get the needle in.

It was so hard trying to stay still so they could insert it when I was having contractions. Once it kicked in I was knocked out for a couple of hours. I only woke up because the pain came back. Tip: if you fall asleep with an epidural make sure someone continues to press the  button every 10 minutes, it will stop working.

Finally I reached 10cm at 12 in the afternoon on Monday! I was so excited. It wasn’t till 2 I started pushing as they waited till our heart rate and stats were stable. I could not feel a thing because of the epidural. It was such a strange feeling telling your brain to push but you don’t know if you are. I was pushing for an hour and still no baby.

The midwife called the doctor in who confirmed that my baby was too high up the cervix and seemed to be back to back. After all the labour pain and getting to 10cm I was being told it was all for nothing and I had to have a C section. I just cried. I felt a failure. I couldn’t get my baby out safe.

We had to wait half an hour until I could go to theatre. In this time I was still being told to push. No change.

Next thing I knew I was being wheeled down to surgery. My husband was getting scrubbed up and my mom was pacing up and down the corridors. The lights were so bright in the operating room. The bed seemed really narrow, I kept thinking I was going to fall off.

I could feel the surgeons moving things in my body but no pain. It was really strange feeling. Next thing we heard was our baby crying. Best sound ever!

That was when we knew we had a little boy born at 16.28 on 18/01/16 weighing 8lbs 3oz. He had to go straight to the neonatal clinic for antibiotics due to the infection during labour. Before he went my husband was able to hold him. He was beautiful.

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It was so difficult not being to cuddle him and let him know mommy was there. We named him Connor as that was the name we decided during pregnancy. They asked my husband to leave as they said I would be 10 minutes when in actual fact I was over an hour due to losing more blood than normal.

I was so pleased to see my husbands face when I finally wheeled out.

Then I saw my mom and sister Jo! It meant to much to me that she came. Connor was still being checked over but wasn’t too far behind me . I then finally got to hold my son. Perfect little boy. I loved him the moment I found out I was pregnant but when I looked at his little face in my arms that love continued to grow.

To cut the next part short, Connor and I had to be on a course of antibiotics for a week while in hospital,  I had to have a blood transfusion due to the blood loss which I had a terrible reaction to. The closest comparison is I thought I was having a stroke.

Due to having a C section it made it very difficult caring for Connor in the evenings as my family were restricted to visiting hours. It made me feel very lonely and emotional.

The only way I got through the evenings was when I befriended the other women on the ward. As they were in the exact position as me we shared our experience and got through it together.

Saturday afternoon I was so happy as I was finally being discharged. Walking out that hospital with my baby and breathing in fresh air was amazing.

I remember getting home and taking off my shoes and feeling carpet on my feet. It felt so nice because I got used to hospital hard floors. It’s crazy how it was only a week but I felt so isolated from everything I knew and the life I knew.

My baby boy Connor is now 3 weeks. I am feeling much better to how I was and recovering well. I’m tired but apart from that ok. I love being Connors mom, “I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in words how wonderful life is now you’re in the world.”

(Your Song – this has become mine and Connors mommy baby song)

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