I Refuse to Breastfeed.

Well, what a horrific mother I am. I am also a good writer and have been slightly manipulative. 

Right, now that I’ve enticed you into clicking the link you’ve proven something to me… Breastfeeding has just become a source of gossip and bitching. “Oh look another breastfeeding post to rant or gossip about.” It’s ridiculous.

All this time focusing on gossip and the opinions of strangers, scrolling through social media getting all worked up. What a waste of time that could be spent at the park with your kids!

I admit I’ve wasted time scrolling too.

The title is missing a chunk actually…
I meant to type, I Refuse to Write About Breastfeeding

I going to stop writing on the subject because by joining in with the rants I’m just fuelling the fire and helping turn feeding our babies into a spectacle and I don’t want to be part of that anymore. 

I’m also going to stop reading breastfeeding related blogs/ rants. They no longer offer anything useful to me. 

I have written quite a few posts about breastfeeding. I wrote them for two reasons. 1. To tell Ollie about my frustrations as a mother. 2. With the sad hope that I might just find somebody on my wavelength.

    Somebody pro breastfeeding but thinks brelfies are nothing more than a charade creating attention for people that claim they don’t want attention.

      Somebody that thinks breastfeeding is completely normal and doesn’t see why everyone is on a mission to normalise the most normal thing in the world.

        Somebody that agrees with public breastfeeding but doesn’t see why it can’t be discreet. 

          Somebody that doesn’t understand why it’s only ever breastfeeding mothers that are on a mission to #normalise. Surely they, of all people already think it’s normal?

            Somebody that accepts it is ok for us to all have an opinion everyone doesn’t have to be pro breastfeeding despite it being natural. 

            Is there anybody out there? 

            All I’ve succeeded in doing is attracting insecure mothers that think it is acceptable to take their issues out on me by leaving horrible comments and sharing my blog in crappy Facebook groups where everybody apparently agrees that I’m a clueless twat. Well done ladies! You’re really painting a nice picture of breastfeeding mothers. 

            I know this isn’t a true representation of all breastfeeding mothers. I have met a handful of secure breastfeeding mothers through blogging. Unfortunately, in general I mostly attract the insecure women that are offended by my life. 

            The reason I rarely encounter any nice, normal breastfeeding mothers is because the secure mothers couldn’t care less if I, a random stranger think a brelfie is pointless. They couldn’t care less if I, a random stranger formula feed because I nearly died. And they couldn’t care less if I, a random stranger is pro breastfeeding but personally would prefer to sit in a corner out of the centre of attention. 

            It’s not breastfeeding that needs to be normalised, it’s the mothers that think it’s ok to insult strangers for having an opinion, that my friend, is not normal.

            It’s not breastfeeding that we need to raise awareness of, it’s the mothers that think it is ok to become online bullies, slagging off strangers for having an opinion! How about we start #troll-ies and screen shot the comments and name and shame these ignorant people? 

            I really think it’s a shame that these sad people use an innocent persons life to make them feel better about their own life.

            I don’t want to join Breastfeeding groups or campaigns, it’s not because I hate breastfeeding moms or don’t support feeding. It’s because I’m an attachment parent and I believe in trusting your instincts, not following a crowd. It’s how I am in life in general but especially when it comes to parenting. I would gain nothing from taking a #brelfie or joining a support group. That is just my personality. I trust myself more than anyone else. It does not by default mean I’m criticising people that find groups or campaigns helpful. 

            If you seek validation from a few likes and favourites that is fine by me but please accept that I do not seek validation from strangers saying ‘bravo your breasts have fulfilled their function’ by digitally liking me. 
            It doesn’t mean I’m slagging off breastfeeding mothers. It doesn’t mean I think I’m better than anyone else.

            It simply means my life has led me down a different path to you. That’s what we all need to get in our heads! 

            Modern Dad Pages
            • Habiba Anwar

              Here here! Great post for saying what a lot of people probably think, but are too afraid to say out loud cuz lets face it… sometimes the mob is pretty scary! #effitfriday

              • MommaBoss

                Yay! Somebody on my level! πŸ™‚

            • Laura Powell-Corbett

              I think this is really well written and to the point Jo. A lot of problems are due to people getting the wrong end of the stick and the fact that typed word is very different to actually being able to talk and discuss.

              Thanks for linking with #effitfriday

              • MommaBoss

                Thanks Laura! πŸ™‚ I’m glad I had a rant now. I wasn’t sure about posting it in case I attracted more trolls!

            • Charlotte Pearson

              How funny – I have just linked a post of a similar tone! high five lol #effitfriday

              • MommaBoss

                Woooo! I’ll have a look at yours! Its nice to find some like minded mothers! Xx

            • CARA GREENFIELD

              My thoughts entirely. Brilliant post*

              • MommaBoss

                Thanks πŸ™‚

            • I am not really sure why there needs to be a war between breastfeeding mum and bottle feeding mums or indeed any mums at all. It’s one of the many decisions that we make as parents and it seems to be one of those things lots of people tend to get worked up about.
              I chose to breastfeed and I write about it on my blog because breastfeeding is bloody hard work at times and it’s nice to share that – and maybe offer support and a you are not alone feeling to other mums – I know one other breastfeeding mum so it’s nice to be able to ‘chat’ to others as I didn’t want to go to a group thing.
              I think that the decision about how you feed your baby is none of anyone else’s business – you make the decision based on what’s best for you and your family what ever that is, or through circumstance you get the choice taken away from you. No one should be feeling guilty, and I think its sad that there are people making other feel guilty.
              I totally agree with your post about all this hoohaa about feeding babies – I would much rather be out at the park enjoying the sunshine with Boo =)

              • MommaBoss

                Exactly! Feeding babies is just becoming a joke and it should be all about what is best for mother and baby! Not who can have the best comeback on Facebook!