Why it’s ok to have a phone and a baby at the same time…
Since I’ve had my baby I have sometimes been referred to as a ‘stupid iPhone person’, basically somebody that can’t put their phone down. I even had a bitchy comment made towards me because I posted a lot of photos on Facebook. A childish immature excuse of a woman implied that because I’ve taken photos of my child, I’m not spending time with him. The same person also made vile remarks about parents posting on Facebook, so disturbing I won’t even repeat what she said because any mother will be appalled and want to hunt her down.
After these comments were made I switched Facebook off for a week. I needed a break because I get annoyed by people making judgements on my parenting or anyone else’s parenting based on a few photos and status updates. There is always a bigger picture.
First of all, newborn babies spend 16 – 18 hours a day sleeping so are new mothers expected to… What? During that time? I spent my time cleaning, sleeping, cuddling Ollie and occasionally…. Oh my god what a shocking mother, sometimes during that time I posted cute pictures on Facebook.
Then after a chilled out week I decided that I wouldn’t let one pathetic person bother me. I know I’m a good mom and I spend plenty of time with my baby. Ollie’s grandparents live 3 hours away and I have family in Australia that like the baby updates so if one childish, jealous person can’t handle it, tough. Unfriend me if you get annoyed by cute pictures. It’s funny though because these people choose to look! Why look if you don’t like it?
I realised that when I am on my phone I am either, taking photos of my baby. This is recording his life and I’m sure he’ll be grateful one day. I love looking at my baby photos. Or when I’m online I’m usually reading parenting articles or looking in online baby shops for things to buy for Oliver. So I really don’t think any of those things makes me a bad mother.
In this day and age a phone isn’t just a phone, my phone is my bank, my supermarket, my holiday brochure – all things that help enhance family life and run a household. Me sitting on my phone setting up direct debits is no different to my 90s childhood days when I’d stand bored in a bank queue with my mom waiting patiently to go to the toy shops! Nowadays kids have to wait until mommy has clicked all the relevant buttons to pay bills and then it can be playtime. It’s not bad parenting to run a household in a modern way!
Also, some of my best childhood memories do not involve my parents at all. They involve me and my sisters being imaginative making up games while my mom got on with housework, or was chatting on the landline phone to my auntie or entertaining visitors. She wasn’t bad for interacting with other adults. These days we interact online. Its not bad to let children be a little bit independent and play on their own. Play doesn’t need constant supervision, it’s about imagination and developing social skills. (N.B. Some people have read this and assumed I leave my 2 months old alone to play, re read and you will understand I’m referring to childhood! Children do not need constant supervision to play! Stop finding excuses to criticise my parenting!