Labour inducing myth busters…

Yep that’s right, still writing blogs! No baby yet. I’m now 41 weeks and 1 day. Everyone is telling me random old wives tales on how to induce labour so I’d like to reveal they’re all lies and nothing works. He’ll come out when he decides or when I get induced. I really don’t want to be induced! It’s all a load of crap really, how many women go into labour at night, in bed – yet nobody says sleep induces labour. In fact it’s apparently the opposite. Rest is bad! Keep active!

Well I give up now, I’m not trying anymore crap. I’m staying in bed all day. When you first start to feel baby moving it tends to be at night or when you are resting, this is because being active and walking around is like a rocking motion so baby goes to sleep but when you rest baby is still and therefore disturbed by noise or even light apparently. So surely if I’m active and he is asleep all day he isn’t going to come out. I need to be lazy so he gets bored just lying there and decides to push himself out.

These are some old wives tales that I’ve tried and tested…

1. Curry. I have been making spicy dinners (chilli/fajitas etc) and went for a proper curry on Saturday night. Nothing happened. He does wriggle around when I eat spicy food but if I pay more attention, he probably wriggles to all food as he’s pretty close to my digestive system but I just want to believe something is happening so I only pay attention when it’s spice related. Oh yeh and what a lovely idea to suggest to someone who suffers from heartburn and acid reflux EVERY day! Stupid bloody old wives tale, I woke up extra times that night!

2. Pineapple. Do not even start this debate. I don’t like pineapple, I really hate it actually. I have tried pineapple juice, pineapple ice cream and attempted one bite of actual pineapple but it was too horrible. Nothing happened.

3. Being active. I went swimming on my due date, swimming a week after – he likes the water and kicks around but again… Nothing happened! Walking to the shop and back up the hill just makes me too bloody hot and still… nothing happened!

4. Running up and down the stairs. Nothing happened. I even kept a chart and purposely went up and down stairs for no reason. 20 times in one afternoon.

5. Exercise ball. Guess what… Nothing happened. Been doing this just watching tv bouncing on the ball for a couple of weeks. Nope he’s still in there.

6. Bumpy drive. You’d think a nice low convertible down some country lanes would be classed as a bumpy drive. Well… nothing happened. The plus side is I get to keep the fun car for a bit longer to ‘experiment’ but I’d rather give birth.

7. Sex. Apparently this is ‘the one’ the only one with any scientific backup because sperm has they same cervix ripening hormone that they use to induce you with. I’m still pregnant because NOTHING HAPPENED! Although it is important to remember that you are still a couple during this frustrating waiting to be parents phase so it’s good to just keep trying anyway! Especially if there is any ‘trauma’ down below during the birth that could create a dry spell.

8. Acupuncture, homeotherapy, massage, reflexology, raspberry tea, prayer, meditation, sniffing lavender… I want to go into labour I’m not a complete fool! Watch Penn and Teller’s bullshit because that’s what all of these are!

So basically… it’s all crap. Anyone that claims they went into labour doing any of these things probably believes in psychics too. It is called confirmation bias. If I go into labour now it doesn’t mean writing blogs induces labour…

(No photos this week – I’m in a mood so no smiling!)

  • You’re quite right on all counts, and understandably p****d off by all this. However on a positive note, you are managing to disprove many fallacies. You’ve already had our doctor friend’s advice but then, Ollie will arrive when HE’s ready and not when you want him, unfortunately – mind you he’s messed up all our plans! Just stay healthy and as cool as possible. It will happen when it happens and you’ll be thrilled to meet him xxx

  • …and so will we xxx

  • Never mind jo he will come out eventually. I know not to waste my time with all of the above when I’m pregnant then! I’ve got my fingers crossed for 8th so all nephews have same date! Come on ollie we all want to meet u! Xxx