Pregnancy after Miscarriage.

People have been asking me ‘how I am’ since I revealed that I’m pregnant again and I’m never sure if they’re just asking how I am in general or how I am being pregnant or how I’m feeling being pregnant after a miscarriage last year.  Is it, “How are you?” or “How are you?” “you, in yourself, how are you feeling?” 

So as I’m much better at writing about my life than I am about talking about it, I’m going to tell you how I am. 

If you knew me during my pregnancy with Ollie, you’ll know that I just sailed through it.  My catchphrase was, “I’m pregnant, not disabled.”  I was climbing ladders painting Ollie’s bedroom, still working as normal as possible, I even went shopping heavily pregnant and heaved two giant bags of shopping including pop and the guy behind the counter looked very shocked and said, “do you want me to carry them to the car?” I was all casual like, “Nah, it’s only round the corner!”  (If you’re thinking, why didn’t I just use a trolley, my stupid local Iceland doesn’t let you take the trolleys out!)

This time, I still believe that mentality, I’m still able bodied but I am more paranoid this time.  I carried some stock at work the other day and just stopped and thought, it’s not worth it!  Even though I know that lifting doesn’t cause miscarriage!  It still doesn’t stop me overthinking.  When I was just pregnant, I hadn’t even done a test but I had a feeling I was, we went swimming and I wanted to go on the waterslide.  I got halfway up the stairs and turned around and went back down.  With my first pregnancy, judge me if you want, I probably would’ve just gone on!  It’s a seed at that stage but I just thought, if ever I miscarried again I would always blame myself, even though it would not be related!

In terms of the actual pregnancy, I’m absolutely fine.  I did actually feel sick in the first trimester but I haven’t had any sickness at all.  With Ollie, I didn’t even feel sick so I’ve escaped morning sickness.  I’m getting heartburn already but I had that all through with Ollie too so nothing too drastic for me.

The weirdest thing of all is, are you ready for this, sit down if you know me well because this is a shocker…

…wait for it…

I’ve gone off chocolate! 

I can’t believe it.  I would think nothing of eating a slab of chocolate in one go.  I don’t even really get through a small bar lately.  My early cravings were biscuits and cheese.  Biscuits are to stop the sicky feelings!  I really believe that my body craves what it needs!  I must need some calcium too because in my first trimester I was just eating chunks of cheese!

Now my craving is, chicken korma! I’d gone off meat again after returning to veggie, now I’m craving chicken kormas so my body must want the protein again.  Chicken nuggets were my main craving with Ollie but I hadn’t eaten meat for 16 years at that point so I think that was my body telling me, ‘Hey you’re building a little person, we’re gonna need some protein in here!”

I feel like I’m super sensitive this time.  Every time I go to the toilet I have to inspect the toilet roll just incase there’s a spot of blood.  Every time I get a headache, I’m convinced its the start of pre-eclampsia (I had it at the end of my pregnancy with Ollie.) I could feel movements a couple of weeks ago.  I know some people will accuse me of making it up or say I’ve got wind but I know my body and I know it’s baby moving.  I felt Ollie move quite early on though but that was because I was slim!  Luckily, I’ve got my midwife again!  I absolutely loved my midwife with Ollie and I was so glad when I got the letter from her.  She is just lovely!  I think I’m going to be most annoying to her during this pregnancy, asking stupid questions every appointment and being paranoid about my symptoms.  She is really understanding though so I think it will be ok!

I’m showing much earlier too!  With Ollie, I was 16 weeks when I told my family and 23 weeks when I told my boss and it wasn’t obvious at all.  This time people are just saying, “Yeh I thought so!”  I’m almost 19 weeks now and my bump is the size of my 25 week bump with Ollie!  it’s all at the front again though.

The only thing that is weird this time round is, I can’t really have my naps!  With Ollie I had three hour naps every day but now I have to wait for Ollie to have a nap and then quickly try and fall asleep.  It’s not easy when he falls asleep in the car…

When we’re home all day we usually get a good afternoon nap after Neighbours!

So to sum up, I’m feeling ok but hyper sensitive.  I’m an over thinker anyway so I’m even worse now!  Health wise I’m fine, all my midwife checks so far have been normal.  My 12 week scan was all good, very low risk for down syndrome and the little heartbeat was perfect on my last appointment.  My next scan is 17th September so I’ll find out if it’s a little brother or sister and on that note I’ll leave you with this super cute conversation I had with my favourite boys…

Me: “I wonder if Ollie will have a brother or sister?”

Tom: “I think he’s going to be a brother!”

Jake: “Tom, did you just say he’ll be a brother?” *Trying not to laugh!*

Tom: “No no no… I meant I think he’ll have a brother!”

Jake predicts girl, Tom predicts boy!

Reminded me of that Friends episode… Hahaha!