Tales From MommaBoss – There’s a Shit in the Kitchen.

I promised some MommaBoss horror stories for the end of Blogtober so here they are! I’m going to try and word play an old song into the title I have a couple planned out already.

#SpoilerAlert – the majority of these stories contain bodily fluids, not for the weak stomached or faint hearted lol…

Enter if you dare.

This is how I imagine introducing these stories…

The Tale of Pest Droppings…

Most people probably don’t know this but back in the early 00’s before the licensing laws changed, it was a condition of most premise licences that you had to serve food.  As a result nightclubs often had a secret menu that you could only see if you asked for it or if you knew the secret location of it’s compulsory display.

This meant that nightclubs had abandoned, disused kitchens with a freezer full of microwave curries.

It was always hilarious when somebody tried to order food and nobody knew where anything was or what to do.

Anyway…

So as part of your duty manager checks, you have to go and check that the kitchen is clean and the temperatures are correct.  One particular afternoon doing the rounds we went to the kitchen and noticed something on the floor, “Is that a shit?” We were equally horrified and hysterical.  Nobody really knew what to make of it but we had to clean it up! If you remember my previous story, I had a strong stomach so I decided to clean it up.

EHO would’ve loved to inspect us on this day haha!

As an over thinker this story always got me wondering what happened on the night.  Was someone just that drunk that they thought it was the toilet or were they so desperate that they thought screw it I’ll go here in this old looking kitchen.  How did they wipe? Did they tell their mates or were they embarrassed by it?

Sadly, this wasn’t the only story of bodily waste in the kitchen, there have been a few times where I’d wondered into the kitchen or glass wash room to find customers (always men) peeing on our nice clean glasses and every time they looked at me as if I was invading their privacy.  One even said to me, “Do you mind?”

The joys of working with socially relaxed people…