Why Don’t You Like?

Blogging is meant to be fun right? We do it as a hobby because we love to write and record memories or as a job because it’s has so many possibilities and can become your career.

I could list a few frustrations that blogging creates but I don’t want to be too miserable so I’m going to discuss something that I love to talk about, human behaviour.

Why don’t people like your blogs, even when they like them? We’re all part of blogging groups and forums, how many times do you post and get a sudden increase in stats where quite a few people have read your post… But nobody likes it! You’re thinking, did everyone of those people that just read that think it was crap? Did they just click it but not bother to read it? 

When I posted my engagement story it was one of my biggest hits of the month.  Yet the engagement on it (see what I did there!) was 18%. Yes I sat and worked it out. So 18% of the people that read it either liked, shared or commented. It is actually less than that now because more have read it since.

18% is actually a pretty good engagement. 10%-15% is the aim for all the marketing I do at work, if I send a mass email to 100, 15 opens would be good. 1000 Facebook likes, 100 engaged is good etc. 

I’m picking on this one because 18% is actually my highest ever engagement. What’s everyone’s problem? I am guilty of not liking when I like so I’m going to confess some of my reasons and then state some reasons that I’ve observed.

For me, I don’t always like because 

  • I am concerned that I will get annoying or appear to have a crush on you if I like every post! I read pretty much everything that certain bloggers post but I won’t like or comment on everything in case you see that notification and think “FFS her again!” I do overthink and most bloggers would probably appreciate the engagement but that’s how I think! 
  • I don’t agree. If I read something and don’t agree I tend to ignore it. I might like the actual piece of writing but I won’t engage with it if I disagree. Even though there are ways to debate in a nice way generally it’s a bit of an ego bash if you’ve spent ages putting a piece together and somebody just politely says, “You’re a twat!” I don’t want to make anyone feel as bad as some people have made me feel so I’d rather click away. I have commented on a few and then deleted it because I feel guilty. #NoTrollsAllowed.
  • Bad grammar and punctuation. I’m sorry but I click away if I get this…..!!!!!!!! I like to be able to detect the writers tone and if you can’t even create a tone, how can I read it in the way it is intended? 
  • Sensitive subject. I admit I wouldn’t read any pregnancy updates after I had a miscarriage. I wouldn’t expect anybody to not write about their life but I couldn’t read somebody moaning about pregnancy and not get mad at them. It’s not that I’m not happy for someone or dislike their blog, I just didn’t like reading about it. So I just avoided them or clicked away without a like! 
  • Loads of comments! I will never comment or like something that has 300 comments. I just think mine will get lost and have little effect. Although most people will like something with a lot of likes because it’s an indication that this is accepted by society and therefore it’s ok for you to like it too.

There you go, I’ve confessed. Now I’m going to talk about some of the things I’ve observed and why I think people don’t like when they secretly like! These are also reasons for negative comments. 

  • Your blog is really good! Do you ever read a post and think it was crap and there are 108 comments and 65 likes and you’re thinking, “What am I missing here?” Then you read or write an exceptional well written piece and nobody has acknowledged it? I could get deeply analytical here but I’ll try and condense it. It’s basically called ‘Aligning with the alpha’. If a top blogger writes a crap post, everyone will like it as an attempt to integrate themselves into that community. If an up and coming blogger writes an excellent piece, established bloggers might ignore it because if they acknowledge it as good there is potential for the newbie to become the next alpha. So it’s a survival technique. It’s not even conscious behaviour, it’s just how people instinctively interact. I see it in my workplace all the time and I’m surprised by how much I see it in blogging. It’s actually a very smart move to align with the alpha, just be sure you’ve correctly identified the alpha. True alphas will always encourage the newbies because if you’re really strong, there are no threats! I hope that makes sense, I could write a separate post on this subject! 
  • Jealousy. A sad fact of life is, some people will only be happy for you if their life matches up. An engagement blog will be liked by your married friends, unhappily single… Not so much! Same goes for babies, new house, new job etc. Nobody will like it if they’re secretly jealous. (This reason is more common if you post on a personal page rather than business page.) 
  • It’s crap! You’ve got to accept that some people will just think you’re crap. Nothing personal, just a difference of opinion. 

Of course, this is just my over analytical take on blogging interaction. Depending on your reasons for blogging, your interaction might not even matter! Stats do not matter if you’re blogging for fun. 

So there you go bloggers, what are your reasons for reading and ignoring? Don’t worry, I don’t mind if you don’t like this 😉 

(It’s an engagement reference!)
  • You see this alpha tactic in many worlds including the creative industry, since I have started blogging I thought and hoped that the community would be different, but unfortunately not, I find sometimes posts maybe amazing but they have written too much for a blog, if I get through a post without getting bored then my appreciation is shown by liking and commenting. (Well done I go through this one) 😉

    • MommaBoss

      Woo! Thanks! 🙂 I see people do it at work and I really never knew it went on in the blog world but it really does! Xx

  • Doctomum

    This is spot on! Although the blogging world is generally friendly, just like any world (even the real one) there will be the mentalities you mention. I think there’s also another reason why people don’t comment on some and that’s the blogs middley bloggers – the ones who are not a newbie but not a veteran – I think people think now that they have spread there wings a little and are becoming established they don’t need my comments or someone else will comment or appreciate it. Also combined with the jealousy or alpha you talk about too.
    Recently I’ve got loads less interaction, so it’s either crap that I’ve got or something else *crosses fingers for the something else* ha! Really enlightening post.

    • MommaBoss

      Ha! Definitely something else if people have stopped commenting but they used to! 🙂 the blogging world is really interesting because people are generally really nice but everyone has a built in mentality to survive and be the best so it shows in different ways!

  • This is a really interesting post, you know I have never thought about why I interact with some posts and not others, (and I am wondering about my % of engagement on my blog!) I guess annoying things like those number codes to comment (I always get them wrong… how?), getting distracted by something else and sometimes a bit laziness too, especially if I am reading on my phone? I also find it difficult to comment on certain posts as I am so scared of putting my foot in my mouth and upsetting /offending someone especially if the post is about a sensitive subject.

    • MommaBoss

      That is a good point! I think a lot of people worry about offending somebody because when it’s somebody you don’t know it’s hard to tell if they can take a debate or not! So best to keep quiet most the time.