Why I Left My Son…

 

The title sounds a bit dramatic doesn’t it‽ But it’s true, I packed my bags and left my almost two year old.

If you’ve been following my story you’ll know that it’s not that dramatic really, we went on our honeymoon for eight days.

Ollie is so cute in this picture?
Ollie is so cute in this picture!

I’ll be honest, I was really feeling sick and nervous at the thought of leaving him. I was paranoid that he’d miss me and be really sad or hate me when we got back or just forget about me altogether!

I even went through a stage of thinking we’d made a mistake and I was saying I’m not going, I’m not leaving my boy!

On the night before we left, I slept on the floor holding Ollie’s hand and me and Ollie had a moment, he kept hugging and kissing me!

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The reasons we decided to have a child-free honeymoon in the first place were

  • It was our honeymoon – that’s a good enough reason really! It’s a once in a lifetime holiday that you’ll never do again and it is nice to spend some time together after the wedding.
  • I’m a wife now.  I think it’s important to remember that taking on a new role i.e mother, doesn’t take away any existing roles nor does it mean you can’t take on more.  Just because I’m a mom it doesn’t mean I can’t be other things too.  I like to think I’m still me as a friend, sister and all my other titles as well as a mom.  Being a wife is pretty special so I wanted to make sure I took some time to just be a wife for a few days.
  • We wanted to go to busy places (New York and Vegas!).  Had we gone on a beach holiday where we’d spend a week in a pool or spa, I’d have been much more likely to take Ollie with us as he would’ve enjoyed playing on a beach.  We like bars and theatres and went somewhere that Ollie wouldn’t have enjoyed at his age.  When he’s a bit older I’d love to go back with him but he would’ve hated the plane, hated that he would’ve had to stay in the pram as it would be too busy to run around, he’d be happier chasing the dog at Nanny’s!
  • We’ve had a shit year.  Let’s not beat around the bush about this point but if anyone needed or deserved a holiday – it’s us! In the past 18 months we’ve lost 2 babies and I lost my job after 12 years of loving it so it was actually really good to just runaway for a few days and get drunk on one white russian!

When we got back it was as if we’d never left!  Ollie was my best mate, we just carried on as normal! He’s just a lovely little boy.

I learnt a few things from leaving my boy…

  • We have a really strong bond!  He loves us and he knows we’re his mom and dad.  Going away for a week didn’t make him forget us because we’ve already got a strong relationship.  I think maybe some kids would suffer with anxiety if they didn’t feel strongly attached to their parents but not Ollie.
  • It’s good for Ollie to spend time with his family!  He did 4 days at my moms and 4 days with my in-laws, they stayed at our house with him.  He was happy and lovely with both sets of grandparents and I think it was actually them that couldn’t cope with the change! Haha! They all really missed him when they handed him over! He really loves all of his grandparents and it was nice for him to have some special time with them.
  • People that slag you off are probably just jealous!  I can read a few minds, “I could NEVER leave my child, how could a mother leave her child!” But lets be honest, if you had the opportunity to go to NYC and Vegas child-free knowing that your kid is going to be happy and with people you trust, would you say no? I don’t think you would, especially for a honeymoon!

So if you’re considering going on a honeymoon and leaving your kids behind, don’t stress and don’t worry about what other people think just concentrate on what you think!

I don’t think I could make a habit out of child-free holidays because we did really miss Ollie and I want Ollie to see the world anyway!  He’s already been to Paris and Benidorm and loads of places around Britain! But for a honeymoon or one-off special occasion, I say go for it.

When I was on one of my hen nights, a random woman came up to me and told me not to put my kids before my husband and then told me her husband died a few years ago (cheery hen night topic!) and although I don’t agree with putting kids after anybody, most mothers live for their kids, I do understand what she meant in a way, don’t give up on other aspects of yourself because you’re a Mom!

Garden buddies!
Garden buddies!
Best of Worst
  • Tori Gabriel

    I hope you had a great time and didn’t worry about Ollie too much. Congratulations on your wedding. I can’t wait to read your honeymoon posts but I’m at work all day soI’ll have a catch up tonight.

    • MommaBoss

      Thank you 🙂 I did really miss him but he had fun and I don’t regret it, I’m glad we had some time together after the wedding! I’ve still got loads to write about the wedding and honeymoon! Xx

  • I had the opportunity to review a women-only, child-free spa for a week in Bali recently but turned it down because I just couldn’t leave Little B (he’s 18 months). Friends and family thought I was mad but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it! #bestandworst

    • MommaBoss

      I understand why people don’t want to, I really hated leaving him but it’s not bad for anyone involved! As long as he’s with someone he knows and loves! 😊 #bestandworst

  • Loved this post. I’m a huge believer in having time away from the kids and doing something with friends or partner. It’s a win win situation as you get some quality time with other people and your child gets to spend time with grandparents/other family members. I’m all for it. Hope you had the best time and congrats on your wedding! #bestandworst

    • MommaBoss

      Thank you! 😊 Ollie loved his time with the grandparents and so did they!

  • Peonie & Me

    My Mum and stepdad left me for there honeymoon and I’ve never forgiven her. Granted I was 7 and she left me with my Nan who couldn’t brush my hair and my baby brother who was rubbish at playing babies. Would I have done the same…. Hell yes. Good on you. Hope you had a fantastic time and I hope it’s the start of a better year X #bestandworst Renee @peonieandme

    • MommaBoss

      Yes, definitely hoping things get better from here! 😃 My mom would never have left me and my sisters but looking back now I think it would’ve been good for her and my dad!

  • Jeremy Barnes

    I’ve always said that I think these times away are important. You need to be able to re-connect as a couple every once in a while #bestandworst

    • MommaBoss

      Definitely! Kids grow up and leave home one day and I think it’s important to not lose being a couple!

  • Parenting is hard work and it takes it out of you. You need to look after yourselves and you need time together without them. You did the right thing and had a well deserved good time. 🙂

    • MommaBoss

      Thank you 🙂

  • I probably would have felt the same as you though. But as many have said its your honeymoon and you should always have that time together! #BestAndWorst

  • Helen

    Hope you had a great time, we left Alfie to go to NYC when he was about a year old and I swear he didn’t even know we had gone! Well deserved I say! Thanks for linking up #bestandworst

  • Allyson Greene

    You deserve a break now and then, anyone who says otherwise is full of it! We have yet to leave our lil one but someday hopefully I can get overprotective Daddy to go away for a day or three! #bestandworst

  • Yay you! Congrats on your wedding. Hope you had many white Russians and a special break. #bestandworst